Cheesecake versus Dal Rice
I have been down in the dumps lately. And no matter what people tell me about "being positive", my heart doesn't seem to be syncing with my brain. The main cause for this is that I still have no job. It's end of March. And I graduate in May. So you see, there is every reason to worry. I still don't know why some of my peers (who are working now) tell me that I have a LOT of time. It's an open lie. And yet..
Searching for a job has been stressful. Although to be honest, I feel like I've become complacent lately. I don't know why, but I don't feel the tension I felt last year at this exact time, when I was struggling to get an internship. And although things worked out great later, I'm not sure this time it'll be the same. I'm scared. And lonely (there is practically no one I can call a friend here anymore!) with noone to even talk to. Or unwind. I've gone days without speaking to anybody that my mum thought my voice has become crusty and unclear. Well I do talk in my head and with God. But none of them are loud and in my usual pitch I suppose. Things are going real downhill. :( Another horrible thing is people are talking about graduation and what they're wearing and their parents coming and things like that. I cannot talk about any of these. Because neither am I excited about graduation or do I have a dress or someone is coming to cheer for me. It's just all too depressing. I feel like I've fallen into an abyss with no way out. I don't know what going to happen in the next two-three months. I don't want to think about it. I just wish something good happens. And I get to go to the Cheesecake Factory to eat my first cheesecake instead of cooking dal and rice. I'm too tired to explain the relevance and as usual I veared off in a different direction. It's 3:18 AM. Time to sleep and look forward to a new day. Oh wait, it's already the next day but.
Searching for a job has been stressful. Although to be honest, I feel like I've become complacent lately. I don't know why, but I don't feel the tension I felt last year at this exact time, when I was struggling to get an internship. And although things worked out great later, I'm not sure this time it'll be the same. I'm scared. And lonely (there is practically no one I can call a friend here anymore!) with noone to even talk to. Or unwind. I've gone days without speaking to anybody that my mum thought my voice has become crusty and unclear. Well I do talk in my head and with God. But none of them are loud and in my usual pitch I suppose. Things are going real downhill. :( Another horrible thing is people are talking about graduation and what they're wearing and their parents coming and things like that. I cannot talk about any of these. Because neither am I excited about graduation or do I have a dress or someone is coming to cheer for me. It's just all too depressing. I feel like I've fallen into an abyss with no way out. I don't know what going to happen in the next two-three months. I don't want to think about it. I just wish something good happens. And I get to go to the Cheesecake Factory to eat my first cheesecake instead of cooking dal and rice. I'm too tired to explain the relevance and as usual I veared off in a different direction. It's 3:18 AM. Time to sleep and look forward to a new day. Oh wait, it's already the next day but.
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